Well, like this blog, this year did not really turned out as I had originally planned. This year was supposed to be about sacrifice, growth, opportunity, and becoming a better person. This blog was supposed to be a record of that. I don't think that happened.
I'm not a better person after working at this school. I wouldn't say I'm much wiser, either. But, I'm aware of those two things, now; which is as good a start as any.
Things I've learned this year:
* I could be a kick-ass teacher if I wanted to... but I do not want to.
* I'm lazier than I thought.
* I can be a real bitch when I want to be... and unfortunately that is necessary at times.
* Sacrifice does not make you a good person (especially when you find yourself bitching and whining about it the whole time). Not seeing something like this as the enormous sacrifice that it is does.
* The world is a much worse place than I thought it was...
* ... but sometimes individuals can amaze you.
* Children suck...
* ... but adults suck more.
* The suckiest adults are, in reality, still children.
* I want to have kids, despite how much they suck.
* I want to be a coach/involved with athletics.
* My parents are awesome people and I was a complete ass as a teenager.
* Giving to charity does not make you a charitable person.
* Giving time to charity only makes you a charitable person if you believe in your cause.
* Weaver is awesome.
* Men scare, confuse, aggravate, annoy, anger, and often infuriate me. Yet I'm still straight and I still love my boyfriend.
* Atheism means a lot to me.
* Rugby means the world to me.
* I miss my college friends.
But most of all...
* I miss having the feeling of having a fire lit under my ass. I miss believing that the world has a bad rap and that people are actually much better than we think they are. I miss believing that all people need is a chance to succeed and a guiding hand to bring themselves out of indigence and ignorance. I miss being the shiny-eyed idealist who believed she could change the world.
Things I need to learn
* How to better temper negativity with humor - and learn to be positive on some occasions.
* How to forgive myself for not changing the world.
* To understand that I am, indeed, changing the world by being an active part of it.
* How to forgive kids for being rookies at life.
* How to be patient.
But most importantly...
* How to stop procrastinating and get back to work; I've got exams to make, grades to lock in, kids to discipline, and my life to lead.
Four more days as a teacher. I'm almost there...
