Deciding Between Venues and Themes

Okay, so things are actually happening! We've narrowed it down to two venues, either the Interlaken Inn in Lakeville, CT or the Inn at Mystic in Mystic, CT.




They're both beautiful and will accommodate our specific needs - it mostly depends on which one has better availability. We want the wedding to take place this October, so we're sort of at the mercy of the venues' calendars.

I'm usually not into themes... but sometimes it makes the planning easier (plus, I made a deal with my parents that if they got more say in the reception, Steve and I could do our handfasting ceremony). My mom is a fan of something Victorian-esque, Steve is leaning towards an Oktoberfest inspired reception, and I'd like something Celtic inspired to go with the handfasting.

I'm torn... I like elements of all three. I wonder if there is a way to combine them all without having it just be a mish-mash? My mom knows I'm a boot girl at heart... so she wanted to have me wear Victorian style ankle boots with buttons. She also loved the idea of some sort of cape with a hood over a very simple dress. I was looking up pictures of the cape... and found one that was over a very pretty Celtic style dress. And I also loved the wreath of flowers instead of a veil.





My FH brews his own beer, and suggested that he could brew an Oktoberfest style for the wedding. He's not into wearing the leiderhosen... but, he likes the idea of incorporating his German heritage.


So, decisions, decisions... any thoughts on how we can combine these different elements?

Carp n Smeck Are Getting Married!

Yep. It's official. Steve and I are tying the knot. Literally.

We've been talking about this for a couple of years actually. We knew we wanted to get married eventually, but we wanted to wait until things were a little more secure job-wise, etc. But, we figured: why wait? About the only thing that we know for certain is that we want to be together... so why not? (We also both have eldery family members that are not in the greatest of health and we know that it would mean a lot to them to be able to witness the event...)

So yeah. It hasn't really sunk in yet. I think we're both still in a little bit of shock. The term fiancee isn't running smoothly off either of our tongues, but, we couldn't be happier.

Details are a little fuzzy right now, but we're thinking October of this year. We have a couple of different options for venues, but we know we want an inn or hotel of some kind with a really pretty outdoor space. Steve and I want to do a variation on a hand-fasting ceremony (see, I told you we were literally tying the knot!) and have it take place outdoors. It's going to be comfortable, but classy, and a little on the casual side.

I have a wedding blog on Offbeatbride.com, but I'm also going to be doing posts here, since I think not all of the posts will be available to people who aren't signed up for the site.

Here was my post from today:

Thank You for Off-Beat Bride!!

My mom bought a bunch of bridal magazines for us to look at together while planning this wedding. I just wanted to take a quick moment and say that I am very grateful that there is a site like this for people who want to do things a little different.

I think the thing that struck me the most today while flipping through the 'zines was how the brides are simply just targets for marketing (well, DUH, I guess, but still, it's different to actually be looking at the issue as a bride to be). Obviously weddings are a huge commercial event... but, it still feels like I've got a giant target on my back for marketors and vendors. I don't really read magazines all that much, so I guess I'm sort of just shocked looking at this stuff.

And it's not just about cakes, and dresses, and flowers... (those are all predictable) there were also ads from gyms and fitness centers. One ad gladly claims "Getting fit, or 'Bride Buff,' is key to looking - and feeling - your best on the big day!" "There are precious few '10's' our there (thank heavens), but this is the tiem to inch as close to perfection as you can!" Under headings such as Body Beautiful, Crowning Glory, Skin Deep, The Eyes Have It, Smile Wide, Smooth as Silk, I can learn about all the ways I'm imperfect and that can be changed for a (reasonable!) price of hundreds of dollars. In fact, if I have slightly crooked teeth, I can spend six to nine months before my wedding getting my teeth aligned for the measly price of $4,500.

I mean, really?

My favorite article from The Connecticut Bride, however, has to do with the groom... 10 Tips for the Groom. You know what happens when you assume? Yeah... Basically, the article assumes the guy doesn't want to have anything to do with actually planning the big day, is just going to be drunk the entire time, and has no idea how to act with any grace or class (okay, so yeah, this applies to SOME guys I know... but the same could be said for plenty women I know as well.) I kind of just want to go through the entire list piece by piece... but I'll give you the highlights.

Tips 2 and 5 remind the groom that it's not cool to go overboard at your bachelor party and to pace yourself throughout the weekend. (Because, afterall, "too often grooms who party on the way to the chapel have nothing left in the tank when the reception really starts rolling. Or worse, they waste the first half of their honeymoon just trying to recover"). First off, I think it's unfair to assume the groom is the only person who overdoes the booze at weddings. I actually do think this is a sage piece of advice for anyone attending a weekend-long event, especially one that will require you to have your wits about you. Second, if you met my family, you'd want a drink, too... I fully intend to be fairly intoxicated at both the wedding rehearsal and the reception and that will not be a privlege I intend to deny my FH.

I was slightly perterbed by tip 4, "No kilts, frilly cumberbunds or pastel blue tuxedos. Though all these ideas may seem like fun, retro or wacky ways to express your "individuality" (their quotes, not mine!) when you look back a decade from now, all you'll think is, 'What the hell was I thinking?' If you must be creative of goofy, save it for the reception, where the fun is supposed to be and your spirited show of individuality will seem in context." I don't think I need to go too in depth into this one, do I?

Going along that vein, Tip 7 also wants to ensure you're completely boring at your big day: "Don't macarena, chicken dance, or electric slide. For the love of God, man, have some diginity and leave that silly steppin' to your Aunt Lucy and your bride's nieces! Besides, real men slowdance." Okay, if there's ever a time to do silly dances (and I have only one nephew, by the way...) it's at your big day. Have some fun, for crying out loud!

Tip 10 is my favorite. "Remember to hang out with your wife at the reception. Too ofeten brides and grooms are pulled in different directions once the receoption begins, onl seeing each other at the meal, when the cake gets cut and for a dance or two., Though you'll have the rest of your lives together, nothing is more upsetting than lokoing back at pictures and realizing you have more shots of you with your golf buddies than with your new wife."

And of course, thre rest of the magazine is filled with nothing but traditional wide gowns, expensive flower arrangements, and completely stereotypical wedding-type stuff. (And of course, there is not a single mention of a same-sex wedding, any couples of color, or any pictures of officiants that aren't in church-garb).

Long story short, Thank you for this site. In a world full of white dresses, bans on kilts and the chicken dance, and reminders to "tell your bride's mom that you love her daughter. It may seem sappy to you, but it'll mean a lot to her"... well, I'm glad I have this community to turn to. Thank you for letting us be ourselves, and bringing all of us off-beat people together to plan our big days.